Official complaint for item #4782

Dear Baby Store manager,

I recently purchased a tiny human from your store. (Well, it was last July. But that's recent, right?)
Upon unwrapping him from his packaging and reading the instruction manual, I was pleased to see that he was gorgeous. This soft little smooshy specimen. I held him, as he was quiet and cuddly.

After a few days, the problems began. I found that he was possibly malfunctioning. I read the manual, but no-where did it describe how to stop this tiny human from crying for no reason. It also didn't tell me how to stop him from leaking fluids!

Hmmm, what's this?

I finally came to terms with these things and got into a good routine of feed, play sleep with this tiny human. He was even sleeping well at night. Things were looking up. I decided he was a good purchase after all.

Suddenly, he decided to start waking up for longer. What was I supposed to do now? There was no-where in the manual that explained what to do with him during this wakeful time. He also started fussing while feeding. That was the only thing I could count on, until now.

I got used to this and once again, was happy with my purchase.

On and on, this kept up. New things happening all the time, with my tiny human. Having many moments of buyers remorse and then realising that yes, I did want to keep him.

I am writing to tell you that you must be more accurate and detailed with the manual.

I am currently dealing with this tiny human speaking gibberish (that I can't understand, because there's nothing in the manual!!), biting me, emptying all of my cupboards and climbing out of the bath. 

This isn't acceptable!

It's very lucky that I'm attached to this tiny human, because I'd be returning him for a full refund, otherwise! 

Consider this a formal complaint about the terrible manual. I hope that by the time I get to my second, third and fourth tiny human purchases, you'll have improved things!

   

Yours sincerely,

Bianca