Babies are cute. They're sweet. They're lovely.
That's not the problem.
The problem is, that they're also screamy, stinky and unpredictable.
People don't tell you this.
When your pregnant and 'glowing'. When you're excited and smiling about all the possibilities. You buy the tiniest, sweetest, pale coloured outfits. You beam.
When people ask questions, you say things like 'I'll just go with the flow' or 'let's see what happens'.
Then, this thing arrives. No-one tells you about pooping yourself in labour, or the blood. So MUCH blood. No-one tells you that breastfeeding HURTS.
Where's the flippin' magic? The Huggies T.V. ad theme music? The Egyptian cotton hospital robe?
Huh? Where's that stuff?
No one tells you of the reality.
You know why?
|Some mothers have been known to eat their young.|
Cause you'd most likely throw yourself down a couple of flights of stairs screaming "Geronimo!!!".
I love my son. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. (Except maybe that time I won a free Mars Bar by looking inside the wrapper!) Joking!
The day he arrived, I couldn't have been more taken with him. The pure love and joy that I experienced was overwhelming.
Yadda yadda yadda..
All that stuff.
I think what has me writing today, is the spew.
You heard me.
My precious bundle is now a toddler. He is currently experiencing his second vomiting bug in under a month.
I WISH someone had told me about this stuff. This is the reality I needed to be aware of.
I can think of my very own T.V. ad right now...
*Open scene. Mother and baby laying on soft, clean carpet. Natural lighting. Both smiling*
"Oh darling, my time with you is so precious"
*Projectile vomits corn and Spaghetti Bolognese all over mothers white top*
*Slowly fades out with mother grabbing towels to mop up vomit, crying, as baby crawls through it, continuing to vomit.*
"Must be love.. love...love..." Playing softly in the back ground.
In conclusion, I'd like to say...
Babies are cute and sweet. They're lovely.
But if you've got the choice, live in a carpet free house.