The stuff they don't tell you

Babies are cute. They're sweet. They're lovely.

That's not the problem. 

The problem is, that they're also screamy, stinky and unpredictable. 

People don't tell you this. 

When your pregnant and 'glowing'. When you're excited and smiling about all the possibilities. You buy the tiniest, sweetest, pale coloured outfits. You beam.

When people ask questions, you say things like 'I'll just go with the flow' or 'let's see what happens'.

Then, this thing arrives. No-one tells you about pooping yourself in labour, or the blood. So MUCH blood. No-one tells you that breastfeeding HURTS. 

Where's the flippin' magic? The Huggies T.V.  ad theme music? The Egyptian cotton hospital robe? 

Huh? Where's that stuff?

No one tells you of the reality.

You know why? 

Some mothers have been known to eat their young.

Cause you'd most likely throw yourself down a couple of flights of stairs screaming "Geronimo!!!".

But seriously.

I love my son. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. (Except maybe that time I won a free Mars Bar by looking inside the wrapper!) Joking!

The day he arrived, I couldn't have been more taken with him. The pure love and joy that I experienced was overwhelming. 

Yadda yadda yadda.. 

All that stuff.

I think what has me writing today, is the spew.

You heard me. 

The vomit.

My precious bundle is now a toddler. He is currently experiencing his second vomiting bug in under a month. 

I WISH someone had told me about this stuff. This is the reality I needed to be aware of.

I can think of my very own T.V. ad right now...

Pumpkin anyone?

*Open scene. Mother and baby laying on soft, clean carpet. Natural lighting. Both smiling*

"Oh darling, my time with you is so precious"
*Baby giggles*

*Projectile vomits corn and Spaghetti Bolognese all over mothers white top*

*Slowly fades out with mother grabbing towels to mop up vomit, crying, as baby crawls through it, continuing to vomit.*

"Must be love.. love...love..." Playing softly in the back ground.

*End scene*

In conclusion, I'd like to say...

Babies are cute and sweet. They're lovely.

But if you've got the choice, live in a carpet free house.

Bianca
:)

Christmas Gift Guide for an 18month old.

Christmas.

It's everywhere right now.
Seriously. Everywhere.

I am not a Grinch. I'm not. Maybe I just don't love it the way others do?

But when Christmas starts in October, or sometimes earlier, it kind of drives me crazy.

We're having a massive holiday/get together this year with my side of the family. I remember when we first started organising, making calls, discussing details. It all seemed like it was going to be SO much fun.

Now it's getting closer, I'm having second thoughts.

Toddler on my hip,  I ponder. Camping? With a mobile human? By the water? And road?
Am I going to get any sleep at all? Probably not. Will I be constantly chasing my running, outdoorsy kid away from the water and roads? Yes. And when I'm not, thankfully my husband and family will do it for me.

 

This time last year. My innocent, clean little bundle!

Then I asked myself... Will he have the time of his life?

Yes. I do not doubt that our dirty, loud, cheeky son, will have the most amazing time.





I have also started thinking about what we should get him for Christmas. I don't think he'll really know what is going on Christmas Day. I'm sure he'll be excited, but he does get excited over having his shoes put on. So it should be quite the happy occasion.

Here is my list of possible ideas. Shall we call it Christmas Gift Guide for an 18month old? Perhaps I should say 18 month old boy? Although that seems a little off in my books.

The filthy 'Cyclone Eli'

- Gravel. In any container. Preferably with dirt on it.
- Mud. Just mud.
- Dry dog food and an empty cereal box.
- An ice cream container of pegs.
- Some kind of smart phone/ipad/mp3 player. (has to be in working order, or it'll be no fun at all to smash)
- Bottles of water, with loosely tightened lids, all sitting on clean carpet.
- Power cords.
- Old shovel.
- A banana.
- Old shoes. Lots of them.


I think that just about covers it.


What are you planning on getting your children for Christmas?